Feel the FEELINGS!

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It sounds so cliche, but it’s true. Feel those mother-fucking feelings. At least, that’s what I need to do to get out of the vicious cycle. Self Loathing. Restriction. Deprivation. Binge. High Blood Sugar. Feel Shitty. Don’t Want to Feel Shitty. Eat to make the shitty feelings GO AWAY… Round and Round I Go. Jess’ Sick Masochistic Merry-Go-Round. When will it stop?! Nobody knows! (Shrug Emoji). 



But, there is another way! For me, I began to make connections after a lot of soul searching, therapy, and every spiritual quest I could go on from the confines of my house. On these quests, I wanted to dig DEEP. The pandemic really held up a mirror to everyone’s demons. We didn’t have the distractions of our typically overbooked lives. I think it made us lean in HARD to our darker coping mechanisms. The ones deeply ingrained in our psyche. Some struggled with alcohol or substances. Others, it was food. 


That was me. But honestly, the food has been there for FAR too long. High school heartbreak. Stressful nights cramming in the stacks. Coping with my overly anxious brain. Grappling with the mind-fuck that is Mom Guilt. Low blood sugars that NEVER END. 


Food has always been there. It’s seriously one of the few constants in life. You need food to live. To think. To THRIVE. Food has become so demonized in our culture. Good vs. Bad. Clean vs. Dirty. “How many points (calories, grams…) is that?! That’s not worth the REPENTANCE of 45 minutes on the elliptical as punishment!!!” (GASPS AUDIBLY IN HORROR).


So why wouldn’t people learn to shove their feelings down with their Dorito’s? It makes logical sense. FOOD. FEEL GOOD. FEELINGS BAD. MORE FOOD!! Our reptilian brains hold onto this no matter how much the newest YouTube Star tells you otherwise. No you can’t cure my diabetes with CINNAMON!


You know how to get off the Merry-Go-Round? The Diet-Binge Cycle? Say it with me everyone! “FEEL THE FEELINGS!”


If you give a name to the darkness, embrace it, instead of trying to shove it back in, you can begin to practice the delicate dance. There are tools that can help you. More on this another day **cough cough Therapy cough cough**


Are you ready to dance with the darkness instead of drowning it, and yourself, along with it? Join me on this magical journey. 


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