Hiking Highs & Lows

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I’ve gone hiking 3 times in the past 12 days. For some it doesn’t sound like much, but for me it’s huge! The last few years, exercise has been inconsistent for me. In the past, I’d feel this drive inside of me at times, but it was often fueled by seth-loathing and vehement hate for my body. I would run full speed ahead into whatever I felt would “fix” me, but it often left me feeling drained afterwards. Motivation bred in hate doesn’t lead to very satisfying outcomes. So over time, I would give up. Crawl back into my hole, disgusted with my body’s inability to “keep up” with whatever I was trying to do to it. In beginning to heal my relationship with myself, I’ve been trying to find ways to move my body that truly bring me joy. Yoga has been a huge help, even doing it for 10 minutes a day, but I was ready for more.

Then, two weekends ago my friend Katie invited me to a hiking group event. Now, this wasn’t any old hiking group. It was a SINGLES hiking group. And if you don’t know, I’m married. But I’ve seen Katie’s journey in discovering her love of hiking, and it inspired me. I used to love taking Jovie for long walks in Nolde Forest, being out in nature. But on my own I had the hardest time getting out on the trails. So when she asked, despite my hesitation, being married and having to socialize with strangers (hey social anxiety!), I accepted. The days leading up to it I was so excited and nervous at the same time. Hundreds of questions running through my head. How long of a hike? (The length of time spent exercising really dictates how I’ll manage my diabetes). What settings should I use in my pump? Do I need a snack? How many snacks? Will the people on this hike like me?


I packed my bag with DIABETES at the front of my mind. Lots of juice boxes. Water. Granola bars. THE WORKS. And I didn’t need any of them. I think I had a granola bar mid-hike to keep me going, but I wasn’t constantly stuffing my face to treat lows. Despite the hike kicking my ASS (6.7 miles, ½ of which was in the dark, and I walked across a tree stump over water!!!) I left it feeling invigorated. Excited. When could I do that again? My body was sore, but my spirit was lifted. 


Beautiful Views on my First Hike

And Motivational Quotes!

Well, it just so happened Katie’s group was hiking again the following Friday. This time it was closer to home, so I felt even more prepared. I knew where I was going on some of the trails. The previous weekend I had NO CLUE, so I was at the mercy of the leader of the group, which was anxiety inducing but taught me to let go. This place, Nolde Forest, is where I ventured with Jovie many years before. I had the same backpack of low supplies as the previous weekend, with upgraded footwear (I got new hiking boots after having SERIOUS blisters after my first hike). I arrived feeling confident, ready for an “easy” 2-3 mile hike, with a few new people, but also some of the original crew I had already met. What could possibly go wrong?


Let me tell you. EVERYTHING. My blood sugar dropped SO FAST. I went from casually chatting away with others on the hike, to sitting on a tree stump sweating profusely and talking in complete gibberish. I was MORTIFIED. Here I was, at my most vulnerable, with strangers I had never met before in my life. For an anxiety riddled T1D, it was my NIGHTMARE. I pancikly swallowed a fruit strip and juice, but felt I was dropping fast. Thankfully, I remembered I had my glucagon with me, which is now in this super fancy nasal form. For the longest time, the only way to administer it was with a cumbersome shot that would be difficult to do on my own. But with this nasal glucagon and the assistance of a fellow hiker to read the instructions (thanks Aaron!) I was able to administer it easily. It BURNED, but it saved my life. A short time later I was able to regroup and hike a shortened version of the trail. 


In the past, an event like that would have deterred me, giving me a reason to give up. But something is different this time. Despite the bad low, I still enjoyed my hike and finished it out with the same enthusiasm as my first hike. Two days later, I was back on the trail, bringing my daughter along for the ride in a hiking backpack. Even in the heat, with several toddlers meltdowns, I still enjoyed myself. With my low in the back of my mind, I was able to adjust my settings and didn’t have any issues with my blood sugar. 


I share this not to say everyone should hike. Quite the opposite. I want you to find the thing that truly brings you joy. The thing that keeps you going, even when everything seems to be going wrong. No one knows what that activity is except you. But when you find it, you’ll know. Until then, I encourage you to keep going. Trying new things. Experimenting. You deserve it. I promise 💜


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