What's with the Skulls?!?

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If you haven’t noticed, I really like skulls. Sugar skulls. Realistic skulls. Decorative skulls. Crystal skulls. If it has a skull on it, I probably want it. Or have to talk myself into walking away from it. My bathroom theme is skulls & skeletons, and others are sprinkled throughout my home. I sometimes describe it as “Low Key Goth”. Why do I do this? Why, as time progresses, do I decorate my home with more “Memento Mori”? 


Over the years, I have come in contact with a lot of death. Patients dying in the nursing home. Losing my grandfather at 15, whom I adored (and still do). Friends dying unexpectedly. Suicide. It was a lot to process at times. It made me start to question the meaning of life. Why are we born to experience all this suffering? What is the purpose to all of this? 

To me, adorning my house with skulls and the macabre is about accepting the inevitability of death. It’s the one sure thing. But it’s not about fearing it. Or wanting it to happen sooner rather than later. It’s about seizing the moment because of it. When you begin to accept your own mortality, it is freeing. It made me realize that my life shouldn’t be spent hating myself. Wasting precious brain space counting calories. I rather spend that time cuddling on the couch with my daughter, reading her another book. 

I don’t have some sick obsession with death. I don’t want to die. Nor do I want my friends or family to die. That doesn’t change the inevitable. I think there is a stigma around death in our country. It’s become so sterilized. Loved ones are whisked away at the moment of death, never to be seen again. Which makes people more afraid of it. Less accepting. People tend to fear the unknown. 

It can actually lead people to be more impulsive, making rash decisions trying to chase the impossible dream of immortality. I see it at work sometimes. The patients who Bio-Hack every aspect of their lives. They must OPTIMIZE every little thing they eat, every exercise they do, with this goal of trying to extend life beyond what is realistic. In doing so, I see them missing out on so much of the good in life. Instead of living in the now, they’re living for some ideal they may never achieve. When you look back at your life on your deathbed, do you want to think about all the killer workouts you did and fun gatherings you missed for fear of overeating? Or do you want to spend your Sunday enjoying time with your family?

The hippie side of me also acknowledges that life comes from death. When something dies, decomposition gives back to the earth so something else can grow from it. That’s really beautiful in a way. I would love for my body to return to the earth, nourishing it the way it nourished me over the years. I’m excited that more Eco- Friendly Funeral Practices, such as Green Burials, are gaining in popularity (If you’re interested in this feel free to check out my resources down below!)

So yes. Skulls and skeletons remind me of death. But not in the way you would think. They’re a gentle reminder that nothing in life is guaranteed. It makes me want to seize the day. Savor every moment with those I love the most. Taking time to listen and appreciate my body, instead of loathing & punishing it. I’ve become a happier person because of it. 

Resources:

  • YouTube Video on COVID-19 Funeral Crisis in Los Angeles (Caitlin Doughty – Ask A Mortician): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdpSgEQKVN (If you find this topic interesting, check out her YouTube Channel! She is a great resource on Death Positivity and Eco-Friendly Funeral)

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