I'm sad.

I’m sad. Sad a 15 year old girl with Type 1 Diabetes out there, somewhere, thinks she “needs” to lose weight. That her mother didn’t think that was an issue, and instead posted the question on Facebook for strangers to discuss. That’s how I came across it. In a Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) Facebook Group.

I’ve found myself really curating my Social Media lately. Maybe it makes me seem sheltered, but I rather fill my brain with positive affirmations and DIY goth décor than MORE period schemes trying to sell people false hopes of health and weight loss (TRIGGER). Or someone posting about their Keto Diet (DOUBLE TRIGGER).

So here I am on a Sunday, scrolling through my curated Facebook Feed, when I see that question posted:

“My 15 year old daughter wants to lose about 10 lbs. She’s been T1D for 5 years. Any successful diets? She is very active. Competition swimmer. Thanks in advance!”

That shit stopped me in my tracks. Why? WHY?? Why didn’t that mother say “You’re beautiful the way you are. Don’t worry about your weight!”

But it isn’t REALLY about this random mother and her daughter who desperately need education on body positivity and the risk of disordered eating in type 1 diabetes. Well yes and no. But it’s because it is part of a bigger problem in our society. Why do we value thinness above all else? What about health markers that are a better indicator of health, like HbA1c? Or just that her daughter is healthy & happy? 

I hope to explore this and more through writing. I have come to realize how therapeutic writing our thoughts and feelings truly are. It is amazing what putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) can do. I turn 33 this month, and finally feel like I'm becoming my most authentic, genuine self. And I want to scream it from the mountaintops. Help everyone with the things I’ve struggled with, body image, disordered eating, type 1 diabetes, anxiety, depression....The list goes on and on. Or connect with those who share similar interests to me, instead of being ashamed of them. I’m talking to you death positive community, with your Memento Mori and anything related to the macabre. 

But, I also know in my newfound mental state, that people will only change when they’re ready to. Working as a Registered Dietitian, I’ve seen many individuals who will repeat the same patterns over and over, expecting different results.

I’m just a mom. In her 30’s. Trying to figure shit out. I thought I would start a blog. That way anyone who resonates with my journey, can find it on their own. Struggle with hating your body? Postpartum depression? Type 1 Diabetes? Or you like spooky shit too? I’m your girl. It’s nice to finally meet you.