Lately I've been feeling like I’m lost in the woods, or in some sort of weird limbo. This is the best I have felt in a long time, but it’s not what I had been anticipating. There are these fleeting moments when I start to feel like a true human being. Not the shell whose life is dictated by so many external factors: the Zombie Jess . Sure, I am better able to talk through and then go into situations that generally give me severe anxiety, but something is missing. I’m not entirely sure what. I’m making small, but sustainable changes in my life, while also celebrating bigger milestones, like being alcohol free for almost 8 months . That should be a bigger deal, but I’ve been hesitant to celebrate it. Not that I plan to drink again anytime soon, if ever. But I guess I thought I’d be “better” by now.  "Cured". I’d finally heal what had been ailing me. Anxiety. Depression. Self-loathing.  Sadly no, they were there the whole time, alcohol just suppressed them, allowing the woun